is thinking about self interest equals to being selfish?

the world doesnt just revolve round one self... systems theory as i've always been taught in the past sems that i've been a sw major.. but sometimes it's so tempting to want to do something because that's what i want.. but then another voice comes into the picture to say, "no, that's being evil. you cant do that. that's not right. you should be feeling guilty!".. perhaps that's what freudian's id, ego and super ego is all about... great, it seems like i'm bringing out all these theories to explain what's going on (they arent called theories for nothing) today... and for one time, freud's theory seems applicable and i've found such a perfect example to apply that theory..

coming back, is really thinking about self or wanting something for yourself an act of selfishness? i really dont know... sometimes, there are really things that i want, that i want to do, but thinking about how it might affect people, how it might hurt them, the snse of guilt comes in and i end up perhaps not getting what i want.. of course, this doesnt always happen.. but when it happens, it's always a struggle to find a negotiation between being selfish and being nice to myself.. maybe seeing other people happy, bringing joy and laughter to others is a bliss in itself.. 'i' shouldnt play such a big part.. maybe i'm just being too nice not to myself but towards others..

sigh.. this struggle within me and this post is getting nowhere.. the post is getting as confusing as i'm getting now.. i think i should just leave it as that for now.. ah, i'm actually thinking for myself this time round! yes, i'm ending this post, period.

signing off
12/07/2007 02:05:00 AM <3

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